I need some advice from parents with middle school aged children in elementary school age children. It was a situation at my child's school to where he was given a watch from a little girl the watch do not belong to my son nor did it belong to the little girl. He looked around to find who the watch belong to and there was a boy about 11 years old that came running up to my son and piggybacked him choking him, my son tried to get away from the child and as my son was walking away the child pulled my sons backpack punched him in the back and kicked him in the leg twice leaving marks. When my child came home I immediately called the principal and spoke to him regarding this and I took several pictures of marks. The principal was behind me a hundred percent that this was absolutely unacceptable and he told me to come in the next day with my child and my husband. So this morning we go over to the school principal is not there but the vice principal is in but she has no clue to what had been going on no one had told her so we had to rely everything to her and make a statement. The problem is is that my husband wants to press charges against this child who beat up my son. We wanted to go in and find out from the other child what his side was and talk to his parents. And if it was just a one time thing and he apologized we were going to let go, no big deal. But we wanted to have some kind of disciplinary action from the school and you may be suspened the kid for a couple days or have detention for a couple days. Well the school is been very lazy about the situation they feel that it's just boys being boys and they don't believe that it was truly an assault that the boy was just joking around. I am livid over this situation we did call the police. The police came over and took a statement. I also received an email from the police officer telling me that he received all the reports from all the children. And that he had enough evidence to go ahead and arrest this child either tomorrow or Monday. I feel absolutely horrible to have to do this to this child and his parents I don't want it to go far. But the school wasn't doing anything about it. wasn't defending my child wasn't They were not helping us in any way shape or form and me and my husband felt like we were backed into a corner that we had to do something. You can't go around kicking and punching and choking other kids it's unacceptable. Tomorrow we have an appointment at 830 with the principal and I guess we will take things from there. I'm at a loss as to what to do this is been a horrible school year for my child. I want to pull him out of school and home school him for the next few months until he goes to the next grade which would be a new school I don't feel like my child is safe there because the school administrators aren't doing anything. They don't seem to care about anything. They even told my husband when he came over to the school this morning that she really didn't have time for this situation, she was booked up with meetings and she didn't have time to deal with this kind of stuff. believe me the last thing I want to do is have an 11 year old arrested for assault or another child. But my husband and I feel like we had been backed into a corner. And the school administration is failing not only my son but the other child. We don't know what to do we are at a loss. If you have any suggestions or advice that is in a positive way please I'm open to hearing it. If it's something negative I don't want to hear it I'm not even going to read them I don't care. I have been upset sick as a dog all day emotionally over this for and scared for both my child and the other child. So please keep things positive and give me advice on what you would do as a parent if another child choked punched and kicked your child and the school did nothing about it. what would you do my son was also written up by the teacher that he did tell after all this happened. My son is assulted and he was called a thief by the teacher because he had a watch in his hand that did not belong to him. That makes no sense to me. Plus the fact that the officer who took the statement has emailed me and told me he has enough evidence to charge the boy but you have the school saying they don't have enough evidence for an assault it seems to me with the schools trying to watch their back. Anyway that's all I can think of at the moment please give me advice thank you 

I would like to post a picture of the marks for you to see, but I do not know how to post pictures. If someone can explain how to post them I will be more then happy to show you. 

Did this happen on school property? If so, go about the principal. If not, they won't do anything.

It sounds like your whole point is to let the parents know what happened so they can talk the child. Can't the officer help with this, without pressing charges? 

Yes it happened on school property. I don't want to press charges. I just want to hear from the parents and get an apology from the child to my child. The officer said he has his evidence and is turning it over to the ADA. What would happen if I dropped the charges? Will the state still go after him? 

You did the right thing and YES that boy needs to learn it is unacceptable. He needs to be arrested, not just talked to. 

ARRESTING an 11 year old? ARREST?!

Double U Tee Eff 

Wow, that's one interesting story there. and you aren't the least bit interested in the little girl who set your son up for that beating? 

I don't have any advice, but I sure am so sorry you have this on your shoulders. It sounds like you might have more clarity when you speak to the principal tomorrow. Is this school in Kingwood? 

It sounds to me like the little girl found the watch, walked up to the son and handed to him and asked if it was his and then they were going to ask around or hand it over to a teacher and the boy attacked him thinking he stole it. If this happened at school, you need to raise some HELL until they handle it. 

Yes, an 11 year old can be arrested. Once they turn 10 they are fair game. I had jury duty one time where over half of the cases being heard in the court room were juveniles, two were not even teenagers. I went back to my class of 4th graders at the time and told them about it. I also let them know that if I walked into a court room and they were the one in trouble they would not only get a mouth full from the judge, but me too! 

The police aren't going to turn this over to DA- these were 11 yr olds in the schoolyard- the school isn't helping anymore, because they did all that was needed- seriously, let it go- 

Excuse me TattooedDragon. But I have the email from the officer telling me and my husband what the next steps were. You must think you know it all and you don't. 

To Michelle and Snow Princess. You both are exactly right. Thank you. 

I definitely think the school is going to wish that they had taken this a little more seriously than they did. In the dark ages, when I was in school, the principal would have paddled the boy, told him to straighten up his act and that would have been the end of it. I don't think I would have been so quick to involve the police. Of course, no one is going to mess with your son again. 

I didn't want to call in the police. My husband did because the vice principal was acting more like she needed to cover her own butt then the safety of the students. I hate this and do not want to going any further. I feel horrible. I just want the kid to show remorse and never do this kind of thing again. This is not the first time this child has placed his hands on others. He has been in the office before. There is a pattern with this kid. 

Having a child get arrested is a bit harsh. I have boys in middle school and they do play rough sometimes. If the school refused to get involve, I would gather all my evidences, present to the boys parents and talk to them civilly. Have them ensure you that their child understand what he's done and must face the consequences; otherwise, you will pursue the charges...enough to scare the child a bit. 

I just want the kid to show remorse and never do this kind of thing again.

You can't force someone to feel remorse Sure, they will apologize if they have to but it doesn't mean a thing if it doesn't come the heart.

I would work within the school. If you don't get satisfaction from the principal go to his boss.

Have you tried contacting the child's parents? Personally, I would try that route before having a child arrested.


You didn't answer my question. Is this school in Kingwood? 

Just saw your post AL Hunt. Was thinking along the very same lines as you were. 

I agree with you ALHunt. I do feel having an 11 year old arrested is a bit much. But now it's kinda out of my hands. That's why I asked if I drop the charges what would happen?

But the child does need some disciplinary action taken. Like I said a couple days detention and an apology and I would be fine. From there I could calm my DH down to let some of this go. 

Oh yeah, please talk to the girl's parents as well. She's involved too. I wouldn't let her get away with that. 

Sorry Leila, yes it happened in Kingwood. I hate to say which of the schools. But of course one of the 10 or 12 elementary schools. (guess that narrows down. Ha, j/k) 

Also I've always said he is never to start a fight but I will back him up if has to end it. My son walked away from the situation and went straight to his teacher. Very mature I think on his part. 

One of the emails from the officer.

I get your information from the school demographics. I already picked up the statements, and it appears that I am going to have to take him into custody, probably tomorrow or Monday. 

Didn't you say from your first post that the principal was supportive when you talked to him and it was the assistant that you met with and that she blew it off?

I would wait to see the principal since he seemed to be willing to work with you and address your concerns. Did you say you have a meeting scheduled with him in the morning? 

As far as speaking w/ the boys parents. I am a little scared because you never know how they are going to react. I feel bad for them also. I can't imagine getting a phone call about all this. But I don't want a harsh and hostile situation/ confrontation w/ his parents. 

Yes Leila, everything you said in your last comment is correct. And we meet at 8:30am tomorrow morning. 

I think they would appreciate a phone call from you rather than the police. Try, and if it doesn't work then pursue it. I know you have a heavy heart. I'm a mother of 3 boys, I understand...I feel for you. God bless you. Praying for you and your family. 

Thanks ALHunt. I really would like to either call them or have them come into the school with all parties present. 

Arresting and pressing charges against an 11 year old is NOT the way to handle situations like this. Some of you must not have your heads screwed on straight if you think otherwise. 

Assault doesn`t warrant arrest? Well I'm sorry but I don't take assault lightly. This is not the first time he has acted aggressively, so apparently babying the little darling and making him say sorry hasn't quite sunken in for him. 

Karma. The school will call the police when your son steps out of line. Everyone does sooner or later... 

School will very traumatic for you and your son - if you persist in getting involved in these squabbles...jmho

let it go ...EXACTLY

"you have the school saying they don't have enough evidence for an assault..."
UR kidding - right??? 

Zapper009, I don't persist getting involved in squabbles. This was not a squabble. This was an assault. You must have a reading comprehension problem.
One of the reasons I'm so upset is because we've never had to deal with an issue like this before.
I don't know how many times I've said I didn't call the police, my husband did or I don't want this to go any further. I can't wrap my head around this. I feel horrible for all parties involved.
But I will say this, if you child came home with marks around his neck from being chocked and marks on his legs from being kicked, you would be so upset and do everything in your power to get to the bottom of it.
If you went to the school and they did not do anything to protect your child you would call the police to get to the bottom of it. You send your kids off to school to learn and to be educated not to come home with assault marks from someone placing their hands on your child.
You don't really know what you would do unless you are in that situation. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.
I knew some of you would put in your two cents and disagree. Everyone has their own opinion. But some of you are down right crazy in the head mental if you think you wouldn't defend your own children if they were hurt.
If anytime it warranted a parent getting involved it would be this situation. 

*****UPDATE*****
Now to answer your questions. First I did not call the police my husband did. I know that I explained that several times. My husband went in this morning and spoke to the vice principal and principle. They got things resolved and the child will be getting detention and the child apologized to my son that is as far as we wanted to take it. Then I proceeded to call the police and tell them that I wanted all charges dropped against this child that it was not a joint decision between me and my husband to do that. So they are going to drop the charges which I believe is the right thing to do. The reason why we do not contact the parents of the child is because the school would not give out the parent information for us to be able to contact them. We wanted to leave our own information for the school to give it to the parents and they could contact us. But again the school did not allow that either. At first we weren't even allowed to know the child's last name. I was sick to death over this whole situation. I was at a loss as to what to do, what the right thing to do was. My husband handled most of this situation but since I wrote the topic I am getting blamed. I went to the underground to get advice but it's people like you who come after me for no reason whatsoever with the personal attacks that are just harsh and uncalled for. When you could have messaged me and we could have talked and I could have explained what happened and that would have been it. Other people have messaged me why didn't you so f/u just like you said f you to me. I don't care who thinks what of me personally. If it were your child you would not have stood by. Walk in someone else's shoes first. And I stand by my husband. Some fathers would have done nothing.